I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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