he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
