Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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