thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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