to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
