I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
