Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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