How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
