I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
