Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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