do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
