Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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