Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This baby is an asshole
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
