I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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