I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
