Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just puked most of my soul out..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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