Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize