they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
