is your mom at the bar?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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