hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
porn star boner night. come get it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize