I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He has the fingertips of a God
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
