I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
