And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
