I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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