i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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