what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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