we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
