I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
vagina is talking i cant
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize