...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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