Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
