It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
