You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
