Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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