Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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