Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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