And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
