So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
