Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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