I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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