I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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