we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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