i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
