we're blogging at a bar
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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