the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize