fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
