Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
