i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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