i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
