I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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