He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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