I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
