OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
