I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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