i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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