I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're like the curious george of whores
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
