This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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