my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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