she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When are your genitals available?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
