No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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